To the best person ever...

This one's exclusively for you, my critique;

One year ago;

As for the new friend (I never told this), You came in when I needed somebody desperately. You impressed/ floored, understood, spoke when I needed somebody the most and spoilt my surprises. In No time you became special. Thanks for everything.

A year, and we've evolved. 

By the way, you still spoil my surprises.

I no more need to thank you for everything, for now its understood. 

We understand each other better than anybody else can, perks of growing as people in a relationship. 

I admire you for your calmness and loathe you for the same. The extrovert that I am, being discreet about any expression is impossible and you bring the tinge of calmness and steal the show. #not done!

Too many things have been expressed already but still the right word to describe the you seems missing. 

If any such word exists,

You are #onefreakingawesomelyamazingoutofthisworldfantabulousperson. 

Whatever may happen to the world on 21st Dec, 2012, you'll be one of the best parts of my life. 

To many more, peaks of glory and wonderful days ahead, CHEERS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  

Living a dream

One and a half months in ACJ has redefined life.

If coming to the best journalism school is an achievement, then staying here and going through the entire ordeal is rewarding. Having the best journalists across the world speak to you is a life time opportunity. 

The daily schedule of modules is a learners paradise. If TV got me to capture Karunanidhi and Indian cricket team on the camera, then editing and writing have been giving food to the fodder. The teachers are experienced journalists from different sections of the media. Their experience just enhances the lectures and takes it a notch above.

If the daily classes are mind boggling, then coming to the hostel is crazy. And having the biggest room in the hostel coupled with amazing roommate's only adds to the craziness. The microwave maggi, ready made food, late night chattering, getting up minutes before the class, I'm loving this life. I yearned for this.

First few days at ACJ, gave me culture shocks. Now, its fun to sit down and study each peculiar character here. There is a Foucault freak, a music freak, chatter boxes and many book worms. ( I'm still discovering people) 

With broadened horizons, open book exams and  a trip home, I have enough to look up to in the coming weeks. 

   

Too much of me is made from what I have learned from you

From the times I squealed to the time I left on my own path,

From the times I whined to the time when I pine for you,

From the falls of failures to the peak of success,

You have been my inspiration.

From the gallows of fear to the crest of confidence,

You held my hand throughout.

Today when I look back,

I realise, that you were the epitome of my journey.

As unfair as it can get, nature played its ploy,

You are not here.

But, too much of me is made from what I have learned from you.

And I’ll owe you this all my life.

Dedicated to someone who spread love selflessly and was a great source of support for life.

An update : Life in Chennai

I am loving my new life.

The college part, the hostel, the friends, the late night talks, the microwave maggi and the whole idea of being a journalist. This new phase is exciting and extremely challenging. But, yes I'm loving it.

The course is well structured and very detailed. More about it later.

First about the city, it's a perfect blend of traditional and modern culture. You'll find a short skirt and spaghetti top wearing girl in the same street as a lady wearing a fully covered traditional 9 yard Saree. I like that. Otherwise, Chennai is relatively adverse to immigrating crowd. It doesn't accept you easily. On strictly comparative terms, Mumbai as a city accepts you instantly and I have heard this from 7 out 10 people, apart from experiencing it. I agree Mumbai and Chennai are two different cultures altogether, but in Chennai you'll have to blend in and then you'll start loving it, while Bombay is more spontaneous. I am still blending into Chennai. Hopefully I'll accept Chennai and Vise-e-versa.

About the hostel, its my first time. So, the feeling is nice. I love my room and my roomies are amazing. We have gelled in so well that the room is home. And I look forward to coming back. The other hostelites are fun too, some are giving me culture shocks though. But, yes as told by a friend , ACJ is a melting pot of cultures.

About the course, its strenuous but fun. My first two weeks went in learning about TV tools and techniques. I know how to use a camera and report from a place. After the first week we were given an assignment of going around the city to get news and report about it. Later we had to put all the news together and present a news show. So, a group of 17, was divided into three per group. So, my all girls group first went to Anna arivalayam ( DMK headquarters ) to report about a press meet that was to be held regarding the presidential polls. 


It was a life time experience. I was the only girl holding a camera in my hand and running through the crowd just to catch a glimpse of Karunanidhi and gain marks. The whole set of ministers who were siting in the hall found it amusing that a girl was holding a camera and shooting them. I loved it though. The next news was the launch of new jersey for the Indian cricket team. And yes, I saw the cricketers. The jersey was horrendous, it was neon green in colour. Still, for a first timer the experience of shooting a big politico and players of a cricket team is freaking awesome. The pre production work was tiring and the final shoot was good.


Apart from that, a truck load of happiness crashed into my door. And it felt amazing. Details coming soon. 


Otherwise, I have learnt to take things in my stride and move on.


Hoping for some more amazing experiences. 
   

Khuda Hafiz Hyderabad. Vanakkam Chennai.

Finally, its time to bid good bye.

I always had a very negative attitude towards change when I was young. I remember when my Dad came home from work in mid 1999 and made a big announcement of being promoted and transferred to Hyderabad. I was all of 8 years old and did not give much thought about the transfer part. I was only excited about the travelling. So, when days to move came closer I did not react much to people saying emotional words. I was only too happy to receive the gifts. ( Ignorant and materialistic, nah, I was only 9 and loved gifts and dinner parties.) The day when we finally bid adieu to Mumbai, I was numb and didn't want to leave.

After the travel in 2 tier A/c compartment for the first time, we landed in Hyderabad. I hated it at first sight. It was too messy and people were rude ( I come to conclusions a little too quickly ). We were then escorted to our new house, and boy! I fell in love with it. It was BIG. I had a room of my own. I didn't need anything else. Then the first day at school and I realised Hyderabad is not that bad after all. I was showered with praises and awards the first year itself. Slowly, Hyderabad became home and Mumbai a summer-vacation-at- grand mom's-home spot.

Now, another change after 12 years. This time I'm going alone. Leaving home is difficult, but moving is inevitable.

 I'm going to miss a lot of things.


My room and its cozy bed, the smell of freshly cooked food and nagging by amma, the everyday scoldings and making up by appa, the typical Hyderabadi Hindi , the fight with autowallahs almost daily, the long drives at tank bund, the greenery of the colony, the mirchi bajji, the pani puri, the irani chai and some amazingly awesome friends.


Yes, I'm going to miss this like hell. But all good things come to an end. 


Its time to say Khuda hafiz Hyderabad. And Vannakam Chennai. :) 

Disguised Blessing.

I was on a monthly visit to the super market with my parents ( Its been like a mini picnic since we landed at hyd), when something unusual happened. We came out with four huge bags, dumped them in the dikki and went to drink sugarcane juice. Just as we stepped out of the shop,a lady came running towards my Mom. My Mom moved away in defense and the lady was talking slowly taking ample of breaks to breath.

My Mom would hear none and sat into the front seat of the car. She pleaded looking at me and started telling that she wasn't a beggar. She then told us that, she was suffering from liver cancer and was finding it difficult to even move. But, she wanted to secure her son's future and leave him at her sister's house in Bangalore. She had her adoption papers in her hand. She just wanted Rs. 70, which would help her save some money and help her son reach Bangalore. All this was narrated in English.

It could have been a ploy, but her eyes were pleading for help. There was too much pain in them. She was well read, which could be easily guessed with the way she communicated. It left me wondering about a lot of things and how everything turns upside down in matter of seconds? How somethings are never in our hands?

It made me feel blessed. Yes, I should have felt that way before I saw her, but I was too caught in my own thought web that I was shutting myself up because somethings were going in a different direction. I kept thinking about things that weren't going my way all the time sidelining all the achievements or love that I have been blessed with. It feels good to count your blessings because at times life has to be looked from different angles.

All the things that have been happening over the past one week has been an experience. Things are changing rapidly and luckily I'm coping through them very well. Its not easy to leave everything behind, but when you have made the choice you've made it. There's no looking back.

These small things are making me realize some big things in life.

Just before she left, she looked at me and said "God Bless You" and I silently prayed for her well being all the while thanked her for what she had taught.

When your let down, look around and look at the people who think you are their reason for living. You'll have a very being reason to smile.

In the end everything will fall into place and you'll know why exactly things didn't happen the way you wanted. Also, not everyone is as blessed as you are. So, smile not getting a message from your crush, not getting your favourite ice cream or not getting the clothes you wanted for some body's pajama party is no reason to be sad. There is something more to life than these things. The minute you realize that, you'll get a better control over life and its share of ups and downs.

Mission Accomplished.

The mission has been accomplished. 

http://www.asianmedia.org/admissions/firstlist.asp

I got into my dream college. I had no hopes of getting through, considering my deadly GK paper and the dreadful interview. Doesn't matter anymore. They decided to look beyond my screwed up but insightful answers and took me in. YAY! It hasn't sunk in yet. So, my celebration would go a little different. Each time I realise what's happening, I go crazy and scream and laugh and blabber, thus causing irritation-which-cannot-be-expressed to my entire family who are asleep or trying to not open their eyes. 

Coming to the interview.

The scene was like this:

It was a panel interview. They were 3 very old people, 1 middle aged and 1 mid 20's female. 

This was how they sat, with an addition at the left hand side. They were extremely sweet and grilled me in a very sweet way as well. I had not prepared at all. I never prepare for interviews. The answers are always spontaneous. 

I very confidently walked into the room, sat down and they started shooting questions. I answered all of them real quick, except for the last one. The question was, why the GDP had gone down? And I slumped. After a lot of thinking and blanking out totally I gave them a very sheepish smile saying INFLATION (that was the only remote idea I had about GDP ). The man in the middle chuckled and said what about exports. And I caught the point and said global economy has gone down and the importing countries have no money, so, the GDP has gone down. He smiled and said I'm done. And I smiled as at how I managed to answer from the blink of the black hole. 

Now, a BIG Thank You to everybody who stood by me, bore my nonsense and extreme mood swings. You guys are awesome. My Mom who truly believed that I could make through when everybody said I was making a blunder and Dad for being my strongest support even though he's still not convinced with my decision. AND a big special thank you to my biggest critique and the official holder of the world's most awesome person. You are the best person I have ever known. Thank you for being there.

Its celebration time. I'm smiling from end to end and can't stop beaming. So, I get into one of Asia's premier institutions. AWESOME.

Chennai Calling.

To hold on or to let go

Perhaps, part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight for so long, is because we fear that something so great wont happen twice.




Part of a reason why we let something go, is because we get tired of holding something tight while we are let hanging in the loose.


To let go or to hold on, depends upon the people who are involved. If a decision is made to hold on, it should be a mutual one and not a singular one. 


To hold on is any day tougher that to let go. To let go is liberating if emotional strings are cut off.


Hold on, if you know its worth it. Let go, if you can.

Surprises Galore.

Surprises and shocks have been the order of the day. While I made plans of surprising my family, life planned a better one for me.

I got through the first round of my dream college. Its half mission accomplished. I remember writing how the exam's GK paper got out the hidden power in me to see the marvels of night sky in broad day light. The examiner would have also seen the same reading my analytical and insightful answers and called me for an interview to just get more information on my hidden powers. Anyways, I get to go and attend the interview.

There is a small hiccup though. Two of my interviews are clashing. And there is a lot of opposition. Problems are part of life, I know. And yes, I am putting my foot down and standing up. This time I am winning.

On the surprise I planned:

I landed up in Bombay, without informing anybody and surprised paati (Granny)  and my cousin who was celebrating her 16th birthday. The rest knew I was coming. So, they were surprised and speechless for sometime. And I was too ecstatic to have successfully accomplished the plan and of course the feeling of being in Bombay.

So, let's see how things plan out. My mom just read an horoscope in a Tamil magazine that said 'nothing is going right in my life'. And I decided to look beyond it and say Mr. Astrologer and all the stars who are plotting against me, all the best. I am going for the kill.

The crazy sunday and a glimmer of hope.

It took me one crazy exam to figure out what mess my life is in?

Trust me on the crazy exam part, I could see stars, moons, planets, asteroids, comets, dinosaurs, even the new solar system that the hairless scientists have found. The paper had so many names, I dint even know some of those even exist in this world, leave alone their occupation ( The exam was on GK ). After the initial panic, I gave up and started laughing at the questions. I couldn't do anything better.

The best part was when a girl remarked after the exam 'I am flunking. What the hell was that?' and relief set in. When you know a fellow exam taker has written as badly as you have, the feeling of you not being alone in the war against the brains that dint work and the brains that set this damn question paper is simply awesome.

And then came the movie I was longing to see, Ishaqzaade. It was about honour killing. The songs were good and the movie was okay.

Coming to the messed up part.

So, I came back from the movie with a friend with whom I had a long conversation about many things. That talk made me hit back to the reality. I have this habit of going into the fantasy world when things don't go right. I switch off for a while and this time that became my abode for a very long time. So, when reality came gushing at me like the tsunami, I couldn't take it. And the rest is mathematics.*

On why I entered the fantasy world? I had a big exam and I left my JOB for it. So, I screwed up the exam, is unemployed and the reality pangs are still not sinking in. Whatte life macha!

There is a glimmer of hope though, I got through the Xavier's entrance exam  and have an interview soon. Hope its Bombay calling again. :D

*And the rest is mathematics - All through my school life I kept cursing that one person who invented maths. It was fine till class 4 ( the only time I got a 99 ), but later I started flunking. And dint know what the hell was going wrong. That's exactly how I felt when I came out of my fantasy world.

nervous post.

I have an impending result tomorrow and a BIG exam on Sunday. No doubt, I have been acting weird.

I have been away from all these exams and results stuff for almost a year. Coming back to them feels odd. And this time I don't even have people to share my nervousness with. Crap, this is not happening one wee bit to me.

About the exam preparation, I have been watching the seventh season of how I met your mother. And also planning for a movie post exam. I can get incorrigible at times. Lets see how it goes.

Unpalatable experience.

A first hand account of an unpalatable experience that shook me up.

I had one hell of an experience, travelling from Coimbatore to Chennai, couple of weeks back by a bus.

I was going alone. There was nobody sitting in the seat beside mine.There was another guy who was sitting on the other side. Even he did not have anybody sitting beside him. And the journey to hell started.

I was excited about travelling alone for the first time. I ensconced in my seat and switched on my music player and drifted into my dream world. I wasn't able to sleep, so,  I woke up and moved the curtains to see where we were. After a while, I fell asleep only to be woken up by continuous shakes. It was a lady and her daughter from behind. Even before I could realise what was happening she started warning me about the guy sitting on the other side. Apparently, he was staring at me continuously and his intentions didn't seem to be good. It was 2:30 am and the bus had stopped at a toll gate. It took sometime for the information to sink in.

The bus then started and my heart beat raised all of a sudden. I had always been a fighter kid and was never scared to shout or fight if somebody was misbehaving. But this time I was scared. I didn't know what was happening. Just about that time the guy put his hand on the seat beside mine and I shrieked. The minute he realised I wasn't sleeping ( my head was turned towards the window side ) he took his hand back and kept looking at me. I turned to shout but I couldn't. Fear gripped me. It was 4:00 am by then and Chennai was about 3 hours away.

I didn't know what to do, so I messaged a friend for some words of strength. I didn't get a reply. I turned towards the window and tears engulfed. I was too tired by then and was fighting to keep my eyes open. After an hour I turned to look at him and realised he wasn't there. The bus hadn't stopped anywhere so he couldn't have got down. Just when I started to think that, I was probably over reacting, a hand hit my right thigh. Before even I could realise what was happening the guy was looking behind from the front seat and I lost my senses. I screamed at him in English and started shivering so much that I wasn't even able to abuse him. People in the bus then took notice but nobody came around to scold him. The guy meekly said Sorry and I couldn't shout more. I was shivering so much that sense wasn't hitting me. He later moved to his place and did not look at me until we got down. I was just coming into senses when koyambedu bus stand arrived. I hadn't been there before and didn't know to read Tamil. I realised a little late after asking somebody for the name of the place that this is where I had to get down.

As I was getting up and pulling out my bags from the baggage loft somebody hit my back. Before I could turn and see, the guy had left. I know I should have seen if he was around and waited for him to go before I could get down. But, I was way too relieved to have reached intact.

I don't know how things would have been different had I shouted and abused him. I learnt a lesson for life.

All this just because I am a girl in her twenties and has the guts to travel alone or because they think I am travelling alone, thus modern and open to anything. This happened while I was totally covered by a blanket. Does it make a girl susceptible to severe damage just because she's independent and travels alone? What makes the guy invite himself? The questions are not going to stop and answers are too many.

Everybody has a say in it, some say the boy is at fault while some others say the girl is at fault. But, what beyond the talks? Its all no words and no action. what about the lakhs of girls facing such incidents day in and out? We can't stop going out and nor are we from aristocratically rich families wherein travelling in public transport is looked down upon.

This is happening widely and people have accepted it. People think raising voice against these small things are signs of immaturity. To all those who say this, you haven't faced it so don't talk, if you have then stand up against it. Why accept and let it grow?

Some say such things keep happening, the wiser would ignore and move. Probably, its true. But, these small things later lead to the big things and cause irreparable damage. Its good to move on but not ignore. But then how do we fight against it? If we shout or abuse they get provoked and resort to deadlier ways to avenge the insult. They override the laws and are wealthy enough to pay for the bail and damage, to come out easily and cause havoc.

A solution to this is the need of the hour. The more we delay, the more the damage is done. Waking up after everything is over will not solve the problem. We'll have to pluck out the malady from the root. And such incidents form the roots. If these are controlled then we could probably see a change for the better. And provide a safer place for the women to live.  

Probably I should have carried a pepper spray or something. But, then would that solve the problem?

Today its me, tomorrow it can be anybody.  Beware and be safe! And stand up, don't succumb.

Yeah, Its tonty wone now.

My hair fall rate has gone up drastically, my mom's been talking too much about marriage, suddenly everybody looks at me like the before-using-age-miracle kind of women in the commercial ads, people have started associating words like mature, responsible, thoughtful all of a sudden. No, I'm not turning 30, just 21.

Wondering why such hoopla? Because 21 sounds crazy. 21 sounds old. And yeah and people around me go,  oh! YOU ARE 21. Its not like I am turning 45, still unmarried and jobless sitting at home.

Anyways, I can only say, Its all in the mind. Okay I am sounding auntyish. The mind thing is true though.

I have my insecurities yes!, but that does not stop me from celebrating my birthday. I am legally an adult.

I have exams. So celebrations would happen a little post the actual date.

This could probably be the most experimental year by far. C'mon now I am sitting at home, jobless, hoping to crack the entrance exams by playing games, talking crap, sleeping, dreaming  and studying (occasionally).

Crossing the heart and hoping everything would fall in place.

Goodbye 20, you have been awesome in every way. Couldn't have asked for more. Ask 21 to be good and well behaved. 


tonty wone ( twenty one ) beckoning! :)

 

 

NOW, is the time.

Now is the time to awaken, to rise above everything that brings you down, to make a difference, to stand up for atrocities and to fight for the justice.

The television has umpteen shows that promise to bring about change. Their success rate is dismal. But there is one such show that might stay true to its words in bringing about change, Satyameva jayate. I might be judging it a bit too early but the first episode showed a lot of promise. I know first episodes are always neatly packaged because only then will people take notice of it. But, there is something right about it. It can be the research, the host (Aamir Khan), the channel, the presentation or even the interviewees.

The first episode was about female infanticide. Now, how many of us know that this social evil is more prevalent in cities than in villages? The women who were interviewed told facts that would stir up anybody, even a stone hearted person. That is the amount of atrocity faced by them. A women was aborted 6 times in 8 years because she was pregnant with a girl child. Another women was beaten up and her face was eaten up by her husband because she gave birth to two girl children. A well educated family in Delhi, tried to kill a girl child by pushing her down from a staircase. These are just few cases that came to light. There are many such women facing it day in and out. Why is being a girl such a big burden? Only because she has to be married off to another family. When will people understand there's more to life of a girl than being married off? She could well be on par with boys and we have so many examples.Its time to stop them.

A sting operation carried by 2 journalists in Rajasthan has exposed close to 100 doctors who support female infanticide and go against the law and reveal the sex of the baby. These doctors are still practising and nothing has been done against them until now*.

For how long do we close our eyes and say its not happening in our area and family so I am not concerned or bothered. Why do we keep talking about shining India without trying to tackle the very problems that is causing an hindrance to the growth. The sex ratio in the census conducted in 2011 reveals that there are only 914 females to every 1000 males, the lowest since independence.

 Infanticide is just one among the social maladies faced by women. Rape is another malady that has been creating havoc. 1 among every four rape in the country happens in Delhi. It is the rape capital. What concrete steps have been taken apart from asking girls to not venture out of the house after 9'O clock? The maximum number of deaths due to dowry also happens in Delhi. What exactly is the government doing? We in fact have a female CM ruling Delhi. Sad sight!


Apart from that we have the ever increasing number of dowry related murders and suicides, girl child trafficking and so much more. The situation has worsened so much that , girls are being sold and married to 3-4 members of the same family because of the low sex ratio.  How much more can we torture the creation of god that brings new life into the world?


The IPC states that a person accused of rape is liable to an imprisonment of not less than seven years along with fine, which might even extend up to ten years. It holds good only if the person is caught and is not from an affluent family, if he is, then money does all the talking. There is no concrete law in place against female infanticide.


This is not a promotion or a review about the show. It is the truth that needs to reach the masses. This is just one such medium to make people aware of what is happening in and around you. If we don't stand up and fight against this, nobody ever will.

Lets take a step towards empowerment of the country, of the women.

Satyameva Jayate.

The show, satyameva jayate hosted by Aamir Khan has promised to write to the government of Rajasthan to fast track the cases against these 100 doctors.

OK OK -- Review

Here comes my first movie review. I am on Tamil movie watching spree, this is the second in a month.

The movie -- oru kal oru kannadi ( translates into, one stone one mirror).

Starring -- Udhayanidhi Stalin ( Karunanidhi's grandson ), Hansika Motwani ( it should be moti*- wani ) Santhanam and Saranya. 

The film is fun, the comedian ( has a more prominent role than the main lead ) carried the movie ably on his shoulders. If not for him, the movie would have been worse than RGV ki Aag ( you cannot remake sholay )*

The hero is ok. He doesn't boast of national award winning acting skills but is not a pain on the eyes. He's completely over shadowed by Santhanam. The dialouges are witty and crisp. 

Saranya is amazing. She plays the role of a mother and a troubled wife who’s husband hasn’t spoken for 20 years because her father lied that she was a graduate to the Tee. She steals the show every time she appears on the screen. The father’s character played by Azhagam perumal, is very good. 

About the heroine, she is as fat as a buffalo and her dresses are easily a size or two smaller which makes her look even fatter. Sadly, even the camera angles don’t help, she looks fat from every angle, thus causing grief to the camera man’s talent. He should be awarded for the very fact that he made her fit in the frame. She looks much older than the hero. Her limited expressions and the horrible dubbing do not do much to save her from being laughed at. 

I am remembered of a scene, where she meets a marriage-able guy as per her wants and conditions and also calls the hero to the same restaurant to degrade and insult him. But, the perfect guy comes in and insults and calls her an over weight, badly dressed aunty leaving her baffled. All the guys in the theatre were hooting and clapping hands. Which proves, You have to be more than fair skinned to be an actress.  

Santhanam has shined through the movie. His dialog delivery is hilarious.  And his expressions will only make you laugh more. He has out done himself, considering his role and dialogs in Boss engira Bhaskaran ( Boss alias Bhaskaran ) were trend setters. 

The director who gave movies like siva manasula shakti and Boss engira bhaskaran could have woven a story and cast a better heroine. Anyways his dialogs are crackler and his penchant for comedy is visible. Kudos to him for making movies that has humour throughout and not in bits and pieces.

The songs are strictly OK. The song Vendam macha vendam ( dont want brother dont want ) is listenable.

The background score is good. The movie could have been edited more. There could have been a story. Its just comedy all the way. 

Otherwise what could have been a head banging, foot wear throwing and tears out of pain to the brain affair was actually humourous. On the flip side, the movie drags endlessly. After a point one becomes restless as its 3 hours long. 

Bottomline: Comedy movies are fun. But its best served with a story line. 

* Sholay is considered to be one of the best movies ever made in Indian cinema. I'm sorry to include it in a tamil movie review. But I couldn't help it. I haven't come across a worse movie than aag though drona, saawariya, Azhagiya tamil magan and london dreams come really close.

* moti means fat in Hindi.

The Learning's

Whoa! time's flying.

 Its end of April and my self discovering journey has some worthwhile results already.  No wonder people say I'm glowing these days ( Healthy self boasting is good ).

Its been a fulfilling month in every aspect. 

There's been so much learning in these few days that I have begun to look beyond my self obsessed dreams. Life's never easy for anybody. Everybody has their share of ups and down's but at the end all that matters is have you lived through them courageously or left them mid way just because things weren't going as planned. 

Right now, nothing in my life is going the way I want it to. Its taking a lot of effort to still stand and say I am going ahead with my plan. When everybody around you has a say on everything your doing, it takes a toll on you. And just when you need somebody to stand there with you and say don't worry, it'll be alright, you have nobody. Trust me, that's a boon. It teaches you to be independent and makes you realize that the journey has to be traveled alone. 

This verse is making complete sense now from' The Brook' by Alfred Lord Tennyson

' For men may come and men may go, But I go on forever. '

The learning's.

1. Do not expect. It is the most difficult thing to do. I have been sincerely trying to work on it and I can proudly say I am succeeding, however slow it may be.

2. Giving matters, not how the other person perceives it. An important someone made me realize that the very thought of giving someone something out of love or appreciation is good in itself. And also what you give matters not how much you spent on it or how it is going to be used. So, give and forget.

3. Patience is the key to happiness. Never rush into things, either you'll loose interest in something or you'll end up being depressed. The sentence holds good for relationships as well. 

4. Nobody knows what is going on in your mind. All the stupid melodramatic serials and movies show utter crap. Its best to be frank ( not on your face, there's a difference). 

5. Trust is the key to every relationship. 

6. There's always a full stop.

Apart from this, I am loosing all the baby fat. About time, I ll soon be old enough to drink officially.

And time to pack bags and go back to the city of Nizam's. HOME! 

Unstrewn random thoughts.

I made promises and broke them.

I said I'll never disturb and ended up doing that all the time.

I said I understood the situation. In reality I understood nothing.

I was expecting something out of everything.

I was trying to impress and ended up depressing everybody.

I through tantrums time and again.

I shared everything. I assumed too many things.

I pined to talk. And ended up being a satellite.

I might probably be at fault.

Or this might be just another passing phase.

 I can't just say anything at this juncture.

Every word I speak is hitting the wrong chord.


The journey is hard. And it goes on.

This might be just another write up.

But, who knows the truth? Who can read your mind?

I Go On.

Don't crib. Accept things. Move on.

I am at a place where there is ten hours of official power cut daily. About 15 days back, I was cribbing for a two hour power cut. Not that I am effected by any of these ( thanks to Michael Faraday ). But its insane that we realize the worth of what we have only after experiencing/ seeing what others don't have.

Everything runs on comparison. Its good, as far as the comparison is healthy and we learn from it. But, the problem starts when we don't do that. We see the dark side of it and create a chaos. And then we crib. 

On my self discovering journey, I tried figuring out things, that could possibly hinder growth of an individual and eventually the nation as a whole. And the answers I got are pretty simple but working on them would be a task. Nevertheless, it would only benefit us if we can inculcate a little of them slowly in our way of thinking.

Here they go, 
 
Cribbing is the biggest problem.

There's power shortage -- we crib
Somebody doesn't meet our expectations-- we crib
There's water stoppage for a few hours -- we crib
No auto/ bus-- We crib
If its hot/ cold/ rainy/ pleasant -- we crib

In short we crib for anything and everything. In fact we have taken it as our birth right. We would soon have RTC  ( Right to Crib ) act just like RTE and RTI. And then we would have bifurcations about who can crib how much and who have little less privilege to crib and so on...


We always crib with a whine and we don't stop it for a long time. Apart from wasting a lot of time, we also waste considerable amount of energy. Not that we could have done something that would have questioned the very existence of the working of human brain. But, not cribbing and accepting things would fasten up things. And also give some fodder to the brain, making use of it for better purposes than cribbing.

Half  the problems of the world could be solved if only we could stop cribbing and start moving.

The second big problem - Acceptance.

Why is acceptance a problem? Why can't we just say okay, this is how it is going to be and get on with our lives. Its simple, instead of debating about a problem we can always accept the problem and do something to solve it. If not solving it at least find an alternative to it so that it doesn't come in our way of things. Like for power cuts, we know nothing can be done to them other than fixing a generator or UPS. But, not everybody can own one. Instead of cribbing we can accept the fact and strategically plan out things.

A recent newspaper article highlighted the brighter side of power cuts. Read on. 


Making issue out of everything is the sole purpose of our existence.

The issue making business starts from small things and then goes on to larger unimportant stuff. For instance, India losing a cricket match is the biggest news on television. The issue is blown so much out of proportion that one feels as if we lost a war and now destruction of the country is inevitable. And then we of course have other important issues that needs to be discussed, like wardrobe malfunction, who's wearing what in who's party and why etc...

I am not opposing them, I am just trying to figure out why is it given so much of importance? A television channel should be a blend of every news, highlighting the important ones ( news that affects the nation as a whole ).

Cribbing eventually leads to making an issue of unimportant things. Its good to make an issue of things that affects the nation and needs to be addressed with immediate action. For instance, corruption, illegal stuff, murders, rapes, health hazards, inflation etc... have to be made an issue of to tackle them effectively and create an awareness. The rest can just be news that provides information.

Its about time we accept things and settle down. We cannot crib for everything. We either have to accept it or do something to change it.

Cribbing is not the solution to any problem. Accepting and moving on will help us in tackling problems if not offering a solution to it.


Time to start working. :)

Blogging on the move.

I am blogging from the train and from my BRAND NEW LAPTOP. Ahh! It feels so good to own one. 
This is the first time I am traveling alone. Its nice to be alone and try to figure out things by your own.

Independence in every way. :)

The train journey has been good so far, if the initial goof ups are not considered. I got into a different compartment and walked my way to the other end of the train through the connecting plates. All I can say is, this is only the beginning of my self discovering journey- SDJ  ( I am going alone to a serene place, has to be SDJ ). Apart from that, one of the co- Passenger's is playing Rockstar in my compartment. Couldn't have asked for a better-first-time-all-alone-train-journey.

I am already feeling the I am going to Tamil Nadu pangs, considering the fact that there are so many veshti mama's* and mookuthi mami's*. Identifying a tamilian is easy, believe me on that. Our looks are not deceptive. We are easy on eyes.

On the journey, hope I get answers for some unanswered questions. Its the need of the hour. 

On other random stuff,

I saw 3 ( the kolaveri movie ) with an old friend. And WOW! I loved the movie. Dhanush, I am your fan and Shruthi looks BEAUTIFUL. The concept is neat and the twist blew me away. On the flip side, it drags in parts.




* Veshti- A 5 meter long white cloth that is draped from the hip by men ( Man's version of drape on skirt ).
* Mookuti- A piece of jewellery worn on the nose after it is pierced. Mostly it is diamond studded.
* Mama/ Mami- Indian translation for Uncle/Aunt.

Freshly unemployed update

I am Jobless. I have an exam in May but I cannot get enough of my bed. My laziness has touched an all time high and the soaring temperatures aren't helping much ( Its just March, Sun..take rest..cool off for a while. you'll have to burn so much more in May).

At times idleness sets in and gives laziness some complex, competition you see. An offspring of idleness, is screwing everything which is going just about fine. I have a PhD in screwing up things, Dr. Divya, PhD in screwing and re screwing already screwed screws (pure talent).

In brief, this is what I do/did:

I always have an idea of how things should go and when it doesn't, I do my best to make it go the way I it want to. So, when something wasn't going my way I tried messing things up. Thus, screwing people and hurting them. The worse part was, this time the magnitude of hurt was BIG. And I am shameful for the highly stupefied no brainier act that I did.

Consequences: lots of tears, innumerable 'sorry' messages, making up and making a promise ( I know its serious this time, so I dare not break it or else I am DEAD). 

Result:  I'm forgiven for the brainless blunder. *Wide Gratitude Grin* .    

Lesson: Let time take its course. Everything has a time and running against it would only add up to the already messed mess . So, let things be and go with the flow. And do not hold on to things. Live the moment and make it a memory, not a way of living.

I'm also hoping to get into my dream college, in spite of all the laziness, idleness and screwing up. Now, that's what you call dreaming ( only ) with eyes wide open.

Okay, I'm studying from today.

Apart from that I am eating a lot and piling on some baby fat ( Its just been 7629 days since I was born ).

So, after having such eventful freshly unemployed days, its time to pack bags and move. Not holiday. Its business ( read: desperate attempts to 'study') this time.

Random stuff, I got a new phone. Finally, an ANDROID. And I'm loving it.

     

Namma Chennai...it is!

My first out station audit came after I put down my papers. And, It was Chennai. They had their reasons in place for sending me there. Still, it was Chennai.

OK, Chennai was never one of my favourite places. To start with, I had quite a few unpleasant experiences over the years. I was never a frequent visitor but then I dint complain. Chennai never felt home.

Perceptions Change. Yes, three days stay in Chennai changed my view about it ( little more than partially ).
The best thing about the city is its traffic. The most well organised I have seen in a long time. Atleast, when you compare it to the ruthless traffic of Hyderabad, Chennai seems heavenly. The food ( Read: Saravana Bhavan ) is freaking awesome.


The breeze at the beach is soothing. It takes you to a different world. And of course no language barrier just adds to the fun.

There is more to Chennai, I know. But, I am the queen of laziness.

I could only go to the beaches as I chose to stay abode on Sunday because it was HOT outside.

The work was pretty chilled out. Again, No language barrier helped.

I did learn something about me , never have pre-conceived notions about anything. Often, I tend to take on somebody else's thought and form my opinion/notions based on it. That only lead to a narrowed life. What I realised is, the more you are open, the more you enjoy. Its simple, go with the flow and form opinions based on what you see and not what you hear/ made to hear.   

NOW,

To whoever started Saravana Bhavan,

Please open a branch in Hyderabad. your bank balance would double up. If it doesn't, You can anyways cover up for your losses considering the number of successful branches you have across the world. Give it a thought. Hyderabadis are foodies.

 So, Namma* Chennai it is. ! ( My Dad is Super Happy about the development) :D

* Translates into Our Chennai.

All Play No Love

Just when you start thinking,  life's Awesome... BANG! It says Not Yet!

Its been a fairly exhaustive and fun in parts month.

Exhaustive only work wise. :P

Yes, Its been a month since I blogged. All of last month went in coming to terms with some facts which shook me up. I’m still trying to understand somethings that is going above my head ( literal translation of ‘ sir ke upar se jaa raha hai ). Hoping for things to ease out.

I know February is the month of love. But, my life certainly is devoid of that particular form of love ( from a recipients point of view ). So, when everybody was talking about valentines day and how their beau ( grr!) surprised them with unexpected gifts, I was practising the art of ignorance.

The first chunk of the month went in practising ignorance and planning for a surprise.

Putting together things for a surprise is like getting dressed for a party. After everything is set you realise, this was nothing close to what you imagined it to be. And you cant do much about it, because its time already. All you can do is put a cute smile on your face and say surprise. Of course the mushy mushy lines included. And then the person is all floored and flattered. End of the story. ( Read: the first para again. )

What matters is if the person has got the feeling right. If no, HARD LUCK! But then, miracles happen they say. So, wait. Somebody ( might be the same person ;) ) , someday might sweep you off your feet as well. And there's nothing wrong in expecting a little kindness and care from people. Its what you ought to get. Now, to all those who say expectation kills. Its not expectation that kills, its how much and what you expect that kills. Somethings are requirements for sustainability of any relationship, terming them as expectations is cowardness.    

The good part of the month was the off site trip to vizag. It was fun in true, unadulterated definition. And my team was declared the winner in the activities conducted. Ah! felt awesome. ( Yes, I live life in all these small victories). It was a grand farewell, INDEED.

The games played in the train, running between 3 compartments, talking all through the night, checking into Novotel and being in awe with the sea view from the room, winning activities/ games with as much enthusiasm as a school kid, fighting for points, dancing like crazy, singing like professionals in karaoke and living each moment.

Now, that's exactly how an extended weekend and paid holiday should be like.

The month was actually good. It did help me in understand somethings and of course complicate some stuffs as well. But, over all it made me smile ( the cute one).

Realisation: 1.5 months down...15 days to go. :)

Count down Begins.!

My First Hero.

The day I came, you smiled and shed a tear because your happiness knew no bounds.

Your hands shivered as you clicked my first steps. You were jubilant.

Your joy touched heights the day I said 'pa'.

You made sure I had enough toys to play to my hearts content.

You made all ends meet, just to make sure I get into the best school.

You Held my hands on the first day of school, just to assure me that I am not alone.

You sat with me and completed my home works, so that i don't get scolded at school.

You hit me hard, the day you came to know I made a mistake. So that I don't repeat them.

You sat there in the crowd beaming when I won the prizes.

You couldn't stop gushing about me to everybody the day I came on TV.

You were disheartened with my performance in boards but never let it pass on to me just to make sure that my confidence is not lowered.

You were ecstatic the day I cleared my 12th with great marks and got into the city's best college.

Your pride touched new heights the day I got placed.

I remember you telling me that, Change is the only thing constant.
Any amount of changes would only make my respect and love deeper for you.

A few years down the line, life would change a bit with some new entrants.

Still,

You would always remain the first man in my life.

You would always be the only man I could trust blindly upon.

You would always be my First Hero whom I have been and would look upto in every situation.

I would always be your little daughter.

Happy Birthday Daddy...All I hope for is that you celebrate 100 such birthdays and all your wishes are fulfilled.

Final Plunge.

I DID IT!

Yes, Its bye bye to the corporate world. The Final Plunge is taken and life's never going to be the same.

I know, all this is sounding like some i-made-a-revolutionary-change for the wellness and prosperity of mankind  kind of lines. I totally believe that I did so.

Pros and cons of my revolutionary decision:

(Even I can do analysis..humph! :P)

1. Increase in the unemployment rate of the country. (-)

2. Transition from dependent to independent to dependent will add enough confusion and would also give some much needed brawn to the brain's of all the administrative people in my Dad's office. someones giving them work finally. ( + )

3. New gossip for the all gossip mongers in and outside the family. ( + )

4. Income to the company. I don't know how salary worth peanuts would make a difference. Anyways, they would pay a portion less in the monthly salary cycle. ( + )

5. No more auto rides to unheard of places. ( - )

6. No more office gossip sessions. ( - )

7. No more off site training trips. ( - )

8. No more night parties. ( - )

9. The company gets back the laptop. Loss on me totally. My Lappy has been more than a friend through my journey and parting with it is going to be heart wrenching. (-)

7. Pure Relief. Nothing's as bad as being in a place where you don't belong. Beats all the above cons.
( + + + + + + + )

All the above will hold good only from March. :P


Finally, A song that's been giving me a lot of positive feeling(s) off late. I don't know If it has helped in the  increase of hero moto corp's sales but has certainly done a whole lot of good for die hard A.R.Rahman fans.

And an another song just to make me feel even more good. ( It also has SRK :D :D in it )

Cheers to a new beginning.
Hum honge kamyab kyunki hum mei hain hero. :)
(we shall overcome coz each one has a hero in them. )

Whatte Journey!

I Happened to go to the railway station for a customary send off to a cousin who visited for pongal ( We slept through it ) and was suddenly struck by the name of the train that she was travelling in.

Reverse Gear put on:

About 9 months ago, I had once in a life time experience. Whatte journey was that!

We were holidaying in Bangalore and were due to leave on the 22 of April to Hyderabad, as I had to join my new job from the 25. Everything was fine until 4 in the evening ( I was in PVR watching Dum Maro Dum ). And the rain gods decided that it would pour enough to solve all the water problems that B'lore was facing that summer. We had a train at 9 in the evening and after continuous persistence by an Aunt my dad decided to leave by 5:30. He wouldn't budge easily. All he said was, we've seen worse rains in Bombay. And Arguing with him is like trying to convince a hard core math lover that Math is a no-brain-life-ruining-full-of-stupid-problems -******* subject. ( I hate MATHEMATICS )

After wasting half an hour in trying to get a cab, which was ready to come to the Airport but not Yeswanthpur we decided to take an auto. And to our shocking surprise we couldn't find any for half an hour. After which we got one and convinced him that yeswanthpur was just an hour away and he would be paid a handful sum.

There started our journey to the station through the horrendous Bangalore traffic which stopped moving ( It was moving at a snail's pace until then ) at the cubbon park road. The driver after a series of enquiry announced that the road is filled with rain water and the outlet for the water has been blocked. Which left us with practically no option.

Just when we got down from the auto with i-don't-know-what-to-do/what-is-happening expression on our face a passer by suggested that we take a bus to the Bangalore station as that is the only vehicle which is being allowed in the by-pass road. We agreed and got into an A/C bus. Which took about an hour and a half to reach  some place that was close to majestic ( Bangalore railway station ) It was 8:15 by then. And the conductor looking all concerned, asked us to get down at some cross roads and take an auto to reach the destination. We exactly had 45 min to reach yeswanthpur. And there was not even a single auto to our rescue ( INSANE ). After about 25 min of getting completely drenched in the rain, we came to a conclusion that it is wise to go back home and book a morning flight.

And No, the auto wallah's did not budge this time either. We decided to walk in the rain till the nearby bus stop, which happened to be the bus depot. We walked for about 45 min with all our luggage ( 3 suitcases and 2 bags...Yes, I shopped like crazy ), and reached the stop. And we were at the cross roads.

Two roads diverged and I took the less travelled one, that made all the difference.* ( LOL )

One road led to the local city transport and the other to the inter city transport ( we came to know about this later ), we should have taken the local one but as destiny would have it, we took the inter city one.
Just when we stepped into the bus station, a guy was screaming at the top of his voice...3 seats available in APSRTC going to Hyderabad. And finally we LAUGHED at the entire journey that we just had.

Just about a day before the journey, I was having a discussion with an aunt about how inter city bus travel is the most tiresome and how I would never prefer one. And I had one, it was awful.

* A line from The poem " The road not taken" by Robert Frost.

Novels; My fantasising gate pass

In 2005:

I remember those times when I was playful, childish and irresponsible ( wait, I'm still all of them. uh! Never mind.) ie; SCHOOL, I had this whole notion about boring people which meant, anybody who used their library card frequently (read novels or any kind of books) and would miss all the other FUN like running around the class, bossing over people, making fun of all the WEIRDOS and many more unproductively-fun-memory lasting activities.

Present Day: 

And now I cannot get enough of my novels. Its not like I am crazy about them, but then I love them. They take me to a different world. Fantasising has been my birth right.

Here's a list of my read over the years ( In no particular order, listed them as they came into my BRAIN ):

Five Point Some one: For first time novel readers, this is for you! Its light on language, easy on brain, fun and a CB book. CB has certainly made India read like never before. And the reason is very simple you don't have to think much before or after you pick/finish a CB book coz you go with the flow.  


The Kite Runner: This is the first book written by Khalid Hosseni. He followed it up with The thousand splendid suns. This book talks about two different characters, one who is loyal until his last breath and the other who is self centred. The way story is started and then taken forward, is certainly worth a read. Its a journey through Afghanistan in its heydays and the days after Taliban invasion.  

The Thousand Splendid Suns: There is a thin line of connect between The Kite Runner and this book. If the above novel spoke about two diverse characters this talks about two similar characters and their sacrifice. There's friendship, love and  hatred in equal amounts.The plight of women in Afghanistan has been written so delicately that its difficult for you to not shed a tear. Its one of the best written books I have come across.

Two States: The most popular of the CB books. Reality mixed with some good sense of humour. Nice read!

Love Story by Erich Segal: Its been a favourite with romantics for about 4 decades now. Need I say more.

A walk to remember and Notebook: Love is in the year. A must for die hard romantics.

P.S. I Love You: Awesome! Splendid read. Its about how a girl who is madly in love with her husband copes up with his sudden demise just by following the letters that she keeps getting from him ( He knows about his death and pre plans her way to recovery after he's gone) . It makes you believe in LOVE.

Twilight Series: Yes, I am a twilight fan. I love the way the story is woven. Its an addictive read if you totally get into the skin of the book.

Alchemist: Interesting book with an amazingly written storyline which becomes a little bore in between and picks up towards the end. The moral in simple terms is Life is a circle and What goes IN comes OUT.

The famous dialogue from Om Shanti Om " Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho toh puri kayanat tumhe usse milane ki koshish mei Jhut jati hai" is the Hindi version of /stolen from the book " The universe seemed to be conspiring to fulfil my hidden desires."

The Devil Wears Prada: A picture perfect boss and her surprisingly smart by chance secretary. Witty and smart read.

Until You: A classic love story between the Earl of Langford and a school teacher based in England. Its those fantasy love story kinds. If love stories are your thing then the book is custom made for you.

Agatha Christie Novels: I have read too many Agatha Christie books.
The first book I read was The Sittaford Mystery.

When you begin reading her novels, you'll like them because they are engaging and you keep guessing who the killer is,  but once you get used to her style of writing, it gets a little predictive ( Could be because you cannot stop with one Agatha Christie novel and then you start thinking like her ) Nevertheless, for starters its a thrill, that'll keep you hooked and she writes thrillers like nobody does.   

Sidney Sheldon Novels: Its perfect blend of everything. There's friendship, love, betrayal, murder, investigation and what not. I have read too many to pick up one. They are good for a long read.

Ruskin Bond Short Stories: The Himalayan foothills + Anglo Indian house + the adventures = A Ruskin Bond Book. I have had  his stories as lessons in school days. And I started loving the easy narration since then. It hasn't ceased yet.

Panchatantra/ Snow White/ Cinderella/ Bed time stories: These were the books that I kept reading time and again when I was young, while all my friends had progressed uptil the famous five and such other Enid blyton books. I liked these books because they were short and they had pictures which would make it a fun read. Yes I still like books with pictures. ( When someone asks why!?!, All I say is the kid in you should be kept alive. ;) ). They are perfect feel good books.

Tinkle Comics/chandama : This is where it all started. They are not novels. But they are my favourites. I can read a tinkle on any given day. I would read it with as much enthusiasm as I read it the first time. Its an ALL time and ANY time read. 



The above are all the ones that I can recollect. There are many more which would be posted as they hit my currently malfunctioning BRAIN.
   
 

:)