When a child aged 7 is violated there is not much she can do other than feeling uncomfortable.
When the same child is abused at the age of 8, she's creep-ed out of her senses. The inner shock of something repeating starts to blend with an adult voice that creeps in and says Shhh! don't tell anybody. But, the child being over-smart decides to go and tell it after all. But, things change as she enters the room filled with adults, who rush her into changing clothes without hearing her out. After an hour of trying to talk, she's dragged to a different house and things change. Hope returns.
A few months later, in a different city, the same thing repeats and the kid this time is disgusted. But again, she tells nobody about it. She jumps with joy when a man rescues her, but the adult is too smart to cover his traces. He doesn't get caught, instead she gets scolded for playing alone in a terrace. Hope starts its descent.
The girl now, has no idea about things happening to her and decides to keep a distance from the unknown opposite gender. Hope makes a slow-paced entry.
She faces a couple of more such situations but this time she runs away from the predator and never talks to them ever again. In fact they realise their mistake and do not try to make any contact with her.
Years pass and the girl realises the things that happened to her does not happen to everybody. Child Sexual Abuse, though common was not widely spoken about until recently. It is hard for her to digest and even harder to accept that someone could think this hideously about a child. As time passes, she slowly accepts herself and confesses to a close friend. Things have been better since then, if not great.
But, the abuse is far from over. The girl is looked as a sexual object by many members from certain gender claiming to be men. She gets fantasised, talked about in abusive words and is an easy prey to beastly eyes.
It's not easy to survive with a baggage this heavy. And I know someone who does it with utmost pride about being a woman. Though, she breaks down every once in a while, she has decided to fight it from the inside. Being a woman, with responsibilities and traditions showering upon you, living with CSA is never easy. But, again we could go on about what is easy.
To forgive yourself and accepting that it wasn't your fault is all it takes to feel liberated. Once the confidence returns, handling the accusers is just a matter of time.
Coming to terms with something of this sort has been tough especially with an orthodox family hovering over you. It's been a roller coaster ride, that I decided to refuge myself . I shunt myself and let my self-esteem plummet to an all time low. I'm a nervous wreck. And hoping to bounce back, if not later, now.
I know this hasn't been my best post, or a free flowing one. But, this was much needed to get back into the groove. Thus, the experimentation with the third person speech.
When the same child is abused at the age of 8, she's creep-ed out of her senses. The inner shock of something repeating starts to blend with an adult voice that creeps in and says Shhh! don't tell anybody. But, the child being over-smart decides to go and tell it after all. But, things change as she enters the room filled with adults, who rush her into changing clothes without hearing her out. After an hour of trying to talk, she's dragged to a different house and things change. Hope returns.
A few months later, in a different city, the same thing repeats and the kid this time is disgusted. But again, she tells nobody about it. She jumps with joy when a man rescues her, but the adult is too smart to cover his traces. He doesn't get caught, instead she gets scolded for playing alone in a terrace. Hope starts its descent.
The girl now, has no idea about things happening to her and decides to keep a distance from the unknown opposite gender. Hope makes a slow-paced entry.
She faces a couple of more such situations but this time she runs away from the predator and never talks to them ever again. In fact they realise their mistake and do not try to make any contact with her.
Years pass and the girl realises the things that happened to her does not happen to everybody. Child Sexual Abuse, though common was not widely spoken about until recently. It is hard for her to digest and even harder to accept that someone could think this hideously about a child. As time passes, she slowly accepts herself and confesses to a close friend. Things have been better since then, if not great.
But, the abuse is far from over. The girl is looked as a sexual object by many members from certain gender claiming to be men. She gets fantasised, talked about in abusive words and is an easy prey to beastly eyes.
It's not easy to survive with a baggage this heavy. And I know someone who does it with utmost pride about being a woman. Though, she breaks down every once in a while, she has decided to fight it from the inside. Being a woman, with responsibilities and traditions showering upon you, living with CSA is never easy. But, again we could go on about what is easy.
To forgive yourself and accepting that it wasn't your fault is all it takes to feel liberated. Once the confidence returns, handling the accusers is just a matter of time.
Coming to terms with something of this sort has been tough especially with an orthodox family hovering over you. It's been a roller coaster ride, that I decided to refuge myself . I shunt myself and let my self-esteem plummet to an all time low. I'm a nervous wreck. And hoping to bounce back, if not later, now.
I know this hasn't been my best post, or a free flowing one. But, this was much needed to get back into the groove. Thus, the experimentation with the third person speech.
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